hey you realize theres a problem that's the first step to change right? You have to realize there is a problem, so good job with step one
Now maybe the harder part is to find out what you can do to change that. Whether its your attitude you need to change or if its someone you need to talk to or whatever it is you have to find how you can make it change. If you don't do something, who else will? You can't just sit back and wait for something to change, you've got to go out and make a difference yourself. There may be other people in your ward who feel the same way, and by you talking to leaders or whatever you may help the others in your ward also. You can be the one who makes the difference
But I know how you feel, my ward boundries got changed and my family got put in a new ward, and my whole family struggled because we didnt know anyone or anything and my brother was offended by some of the leaders and i wasn't a very good situatuion, and honsetly my whole family didn't really like going, but just go anyways. Although you may not like it, it IS the right thing to be doing. And I know that if your doing the right thing, then you will be blessed. God is not going to just let you suffer in your ward if you are going and doing what you should, eventually you'll feel better about it. You just have to be doing the right thing and relying on God. But this does not necesarily mean that you don't need to change, because a lot of the time the way you feel is a result of your attitude. It's like going to seminary or EFY, if you want it to make a difference in your life, if you want it to be fun and your looking for the spirit it will be, but if you go thinking great I have to go to this again.. then your not going to get as much out of it because you are not putting yourself in a position where the spirit can touch you. There are lots of things that we're supposed to do that often we don't understand why, like paying tithing or reading our scriptures, but by doing it, we gain a testimony of it and it makes it easier to do, but to get started we have to have a desire. It's the same thing with going to our activities, if we go, we'll see the blessings. And most the time you probably won't go unless you have a desire. There's a scripture mastery in the new testament Matthew 6:24 that says: No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. if you have never read this before, mammon is satan, and this is saying that no one can serve both of them, because you are either on the lords side or against him. You can't really say that your not really inactive you just dont go cuz of your ward, because that is exactly what satan wants you to do, justify what you know isn't right. By not obeying God's commandment to go to church you are doing what satan wants. Don't let him make you think its okay, because it's not what God wants. And if it's not what God wants its not okay. I dunno if this helped any.. and by all means I DO NOT want to make you feel like your a bad person cuz your hearts in the right place
you noticed its a problem and thats the start. Hopefully the rest of what I said will help you with your problem, as well as reading and praying. If you need anything, just let me know and I'll be more than willing to talk, help, anything you need just let me know. -Your Friend -Casey
